Sad day in the Brown home

Well, we found out on Monday that our little baby brown never developed passed 8 weeks and thus had no heartbeat. We actually went in on an emergency visit because I had been having contraction and bleeding over the weekend (really not a good sign ... and really not comfortable to say the least). Anyway, for some reason, my body had held onto the child and tried to save it all this time when it was already pretty much done growing the first time we went to the doctor. That's the obvious sad news. The good news is that the pain is over! The miscarriage was finally completed yesterday evening and I was able to play games with some of our friends and sleep just fine last night with no contractions to wake me. So nice.

It's interesting to look back and think of the little signs that there were that maybe things weren't working out. Some of them are weird, but true. For instance, I had several baby dreams before we knew I was pregnant and for about a week after finding out. The dreams stopped about the time that the baby stopped developing. I also could tell a change in my body from the beginning and even though I was still fatigued and always hungry after the baby "died," I didn't feel my body keep changing or growing. Preston and I were also blessed because neither of us felt like it was real. We were of course very excited ... especially when we first found out ... but that faded away about the same time the fetus stopped developing and we never felt that it was real after that, so we weren't too attached. It's interesting to see how things work out.

It may sound cold and uncaring, but I think that we're pretty much over it ... as much as you can be. We'll always remember and it will probably keep bringing tears to my eyes. But, we had processed the idea over the weekend when the problems first arose and, although neither of us bluntly admitted it, we both thought that we would get bad news from the doctor. We talked about how Heavenly Father is in control and ultimately everything would be fine no matter how the pregnancy turned out. Of course we still hoped for good news :) But, I'm so grateful to my Heavenly Father for the amazing comfort he's given me in my times of sorrow. He knows and understands everything I'm going through and I know it. In our "family" scripture study we've been reading the D&C and over the weekend and last night we read sections 121 and 122 (written to Joseph Smith while he was in Liberty jail and wondering how long the Lord would allow them to suffer). It was very applicable and I know that the Lord could name all the significant things that have happened in my life that have been a challenge, but the message would be the same ... all these things will be for MY good! I know it. So, yes, I have cried and mourned in my own way, but now we're both back at work and turning the page to a new chapter of life. We know the miscarriage wasn't our fault and that it really might be better in the long run. I mean, it was miscarried for a reason ... it would have had major physical problems had my body allowed it to keep growing. So, I'll count my blessings and hope that we can still be parents soon. In fact, judging by how quickly we got pregnant last time (pretty much within a week of trying!) we probably won't even have to tell everybody the bad news ... we'll just change the due date and no one will even know :) hehe.

I also realized how many great friends Preston and I have. I ran into Liz in the Wilk right after hearing the news and had a breakdown, but she was there to comfort me :) We had some neighbors (the Wongs) bring dinner on Monday; some other neighbors (Holly & Jeff) bring flowers, cookies and a cute card yesterday and tonight we're getting dinner from my visiting teachers! Everyone is just so nice!! So thank you for your thoughtfulness, support and prayers! We can feel all the love from our friends and family and knowing that we have so many people who care about us helps us be able to be so resilient.

Thanks again to all of you for being a support to us! We always know we have people to turn to in times of need and that's a great feeling!

Catch Up

Wow, I haven't posted in a really long time. Well, I'll just try to give a brief update of how Preston and I are doing. This is the last week of school, so we've been trying to get all our last big projects and papers done and next week we get to take all our tests :)

On November 22nd, Liz and I threw a baby shower for Ka and we were happy to find that it was a success!! We had a lot of people show up and we were able to put together all the food and games. They may have been lame games, but they were fun.

Later that day was the big U vs Y game, which we all know how that turned out. We drove up to Preston's house for a football party with a bunch of his family and friends. Half of us were routing for the Y and half were for the U, so it made for a pretty entertaining group. But since we were going to be with so many rival routers, we had to show our team spirit and decided to take some blue jello. The jello was a good idea, but writing "BYU" with whipped cream before we made the drive was anything but a good idea. Liz was with us and took a video of it as we were driving, so hope you think it's as funny as we did.

Jello at the beginning of the car ride

Jello dancing in the car

The final product

So sad ...

Thanksgiving was great! I didn't take any pictures for some reason, but we stayed at Preston's parent's house and spent a lot of time with his family. Julianna, Dan and Mikayla were here from Washington, so it was fun to spend time with them. And of course, we spent some time with my family also :) But, dinner at Preston's was great! Mom tried a new way of cooking the turkey and it turned out divine! Since she cooked the Turkey without stuffing she had to make stuffing separately and experiment. That one didn't turn out quite as good as the turkey and we all decided it was the stuffing that made us all get way more full about half an hour after we finished eating. The day after Thanksgiving we got to help put the tree up and start listening to Christmas music! It was so nice to have a break from school and work and sleep in!

Preston and I have put our tree up and decorated outside. We're still trying to find time to pull everything else up and decorate the tree, but it's a work in progress. I had my harp concert last saturday too and it went really well. Probably one of my favorite concerts in my whole BYU career. My group played Solfeggietto and Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. The best part was that we all wore tape on our noses when we walked out for Rudolph and after a dramatic beginning to the song, we stuck red noses on and started the melody :) It was so much fun!

Well that's all for now, but hopefully you'll be hearing from us again soon!

The Big Game

I have recently been losing all faith in the Y's football team because they play so inconsistently! But, last week's game gave me hope for the big rivalry game this weekend! This is always my favorite game of the season by far! And I think it's going to be a GREAT game! Both teams play fairly inconsistently; the U struggles most with offense, but is great with defense, and the Y struggles with defense, but is great with offense. Both teams usually come out on top, so it will be especially interesting! I don't think I could honestly tell you who I think will win ... I'm hoping the cougars of course, but I just don't know. The U may have the home game advantage, but that didn't stop us last time we played there. So to all you U fans, good luck and may the best team win!

Epiphany

So, I realized yesterday that this is our last full week of school before a much needed Thanksgiving break! That alone was enough to make me so happy and excited to give this week my all. But, it got better. It hit me that after we get back there are only 2 MORE WEEKS of school before finals ... Wow! Can you believe the semester is almost over? Just when I was feeling like I don't know how much more school I can take, I had the most amazing epiphany that I don't have to take much more!! YAY!!

Baby Brown ... ready or not, here you come!

So, some of you may already know the very exciting news that Preston and I are expecting a baby in June. We just found out today that the due date is June 20th. We are so excited! We'll have to be sure to keep the blog updated. Sometimes we're not the best at that :) Anyway, the good news besides the baby itself is that I have not had any problems with morning sickness yet! That makes me really happy. Heavenly Father does love me! :) hehe. Well, that's the news! Yay for us!

M&Ms, Voting, Football and Mr. Potato Head

We had so many trick-or-treaters on Halloween it was crazy!! They ate all our candy (one piece each) and there were still more! It was a good thing that Staci and eric brought their leftover candy so we could give that away! Thanks guys! It was fun though. We saw lots of fun costumes too. Some of the usual ghosts and goblins, some princesses, fairies and those sort of things. But, I think my favorite were our costumes - M&Ms :) It was pretty great. We were both fat, mostly round M&Ms.

The best part was having Heidi & Jake, Ka & Jeff, Staci & eric and Kelly & Nick over for a chili dinner, catching up and a movie. I loved seeing all of you! We have been blessed with so many great friends! We were going to watch a movie on the wall through the projector that Preston borrowed from his seminary. Before we decided what we wanted to watch, we browsed the cable to see if there was anything good on TV, but pretty much the only one we found was Night of the Living Dead, which Heidi and Jake had just watched recently and said it was pretty lame. So, we decided to watch Clue on the projector, but we left the TV on while we got it set up. By the time we were ready to go with Clue, most of us wanted to at least know what happened in the movie, so we ended up just watching that. Heidi and Jake were right ... it was lame :) Everybody died! Well, now we at least know what happens I guess.

On saturday we drove to the county building in Salt Lake to vote. We only had to wait about 45 minutes, so it wasn't too bad. Then we headed to Preston's parent's house to watch the Y and U football games on the projector. Rob came to join us and we had a little party in the basement. It was a pretty great set up. the projector had the screen showing on the entire wall! We had lots of snacks and a yummy salmon dinner! I enjoyed watching the Y game, and I liked the first 2 quarters of the U's game. After that, I took a little nap :)

Rob brought over his homemade costume to show it off. It was so cool! It was Mr. Potato Head, complete with angry eyes just in case :) He made it out of paper mache (I don't really know how to spell that) and it turned out great. He even had the compartment in the back to hold the extra eyes, nose, etc. He won a contest at the U with it!

Fabulous Fun Friday!

So, our relief society had and enrichment activity called fabulous fun friday. We made some fabulous crafts, had a lot of fun and it was on a friday ... so it's a fitting title. Anyway, I pretty much did every craft there was because they were all so cute! Now we have some fun decorations for our home :) So, that was fun!



On Saturday Preston and I went to the football game, which we ended up winning, but I was worried for a little while. It was WAY warmer than I expected since it had been freezing the rest of the week. I pretty much bundled up and had to peel off layers as soon as I got there. And, I didn't bring my chapstick with SPF protection (which is pretty much a must for me because I have really sensitive lips apparently) so pretty much I have three coldsores now. But, they kinda blend into one and aren't very big, so I should be grateful! I've had much worse :)



After the football game, we decided we were in a movie mood, so we went to redbox and I wanted to see Made of Honor or Fool's Gold and Preston wanted to see this goosbumps movie (which we had never heard of before, but he used to love the books) or the Forbidden Kingdom movie. I wasn't really in a Forbidden Kingdom mood and he wasn't really in a Fool's Gold or Made of Honor mood, so we settled on the Goosebumps "Horrorland" movie. I would not recommend it. It was pretty funny just because of how lame it was. Maybe it's just because we weren't expecting it, but it was pretty bad. Not bad like gruesome, bad like super cheesy and old. Plus, it was like a TV show, not a movie so after we watched the first two episodes, we turned it off and tried to find a good halloween movie on our "on demand" free movies. We chose the Howling, which said it was edited for TV, but I don't so. So, we had to turn that one off too. Not the best movie night.

Halloween Time

We finally decorated for Halloween!! What a great FHE activity :) I'll have to add pictures later since I forgot to bring my camera with me today, but I feel much more like it's Halloween time after decorating :) Now we just need to carve pumpkins .... Who knows when that will happen. Probably next week for FHE! Well, anyway, I'm excited for Halloween this year. It's too bad you have to grow out of trick-or-treating. I'll just have to wait til we have kids and then we get to do all the kid stuff again! Well, anyway, Happy Halloween! Check back for pictures!

A shout out to all you Californians

Is this what you want to see??

Lately, I've heard a lot of stories about the proposition 8 in California. After learning more and having time to think about it, I really feel strongly that Marriage redefined would be life redefined, and not for the better. Think of what redefining marriage would do. Universities would have to provide gay housing, more church leaders would get into legal trouble for refusing to marry gay couples (which I personally think is more repressive than not allowing the marriage), our children would be taught about gay marriage from the moment they enter school. In fact, there's a video about a family in Massachusetts who asked the school to at least honor their parental rights by notifying them when they were talking about gay marriages, but the school refused and went so far as to arrest the husband. Here's the link if you want to watch: http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/
bcpid1815820715/bctid1822459319. I've heard of a church leader from a Christian church in Arizona (where gay marriage has been allowed) who had to stop practicing his religion altogether because he was not allowed to turn away a gay couple who wanted him to marry them.There's also a statement from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints that expains why the church is advocating more than usual which is enlightening for anyone to read - member and non-member alike. It's called "The Divine Institution of Marriage" and here's the link for that to: http://newsroom.lds.org/ldsnewsroom/eng/commentary/
the-divine-institution-of-marriage. So, any of you who are from CA and can vote, please do!! Not only for you, but for the rest of the nation. This is something that could change life as we know it and it shouldn't be taken lightly. Well, there's my opinion. Take it for what it's worth.

General Conference = AMAZING!

As many of you are probably aware, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints just had it's 178th semiannual General Conference. It was so great! I'm so glad that we have them every 6 months because I'm always feeling ready for some spiritual fuel by the time it comes. It just makes me so happy when I watch! This year I was touched by the messages of simplicity, preparedness, unity and gratitude. Of course there were tons of topics covered, but those are a few specific things that stood out to me as things that I needed to hear. I just can't get over the fact that we have a living prophet who truly loves us and tells us what our Father in Heaven wants us to hear!

Preston & I were able to go to the Conference Center for the Sunday afternoon session. I love being there! I kinda stepped in a puddle of mud on my way to the conference center from the car :) We were holding hands walking on the sidewalk behind a couple who was pushing a stroller and Preston started moving closer to me, so I thought that was his cue to pass them on the grass. That's what I get for thinking I guess. I just went for it, thinking that if we were going to pass them we should be quick about it. Preston tried to warn me right as I stepped on the grass that it looked muddy. Too late. But, it was a nice thought anyway. I found out later that Preston was moving toward me because there was a lady on the sidewalk. Hello, you'd think I would have noticed that! haha. Silly me. So, I just had to go to Conference with a slighlty soggy shoe. After Conference was over, President Monson walked down into the congregation and came pretty close to where we were sitting. Everyone filled up the isle, so we didn't actually get to shake his hand or anything, but it was still such a great feeling to know that he cares about ME! And everyone else who was there. I know that Preston and I were touched by the messages at General Conference. Even if I didn't hear a word that was said, I would love going just for the feeling there. On our way back to the car, Preston almost stepped into mud, but I saved him with my brute strength :) haha. Well, I wish. But I did save him, somehow, with my non-existent strength.

It's also pretty neat for me to realize how well the gospel correlates with Social Work. Sometimes it is hard to know how to handle certain situations, but really, I just need to love the people that I'm helping and let them know that they have worth. There are so many wonderful people in the world and so many that are lost sheep and need someone to help them find a fold. I hope that I can be an angel in the lives of those I serve.

Besides watching conference, it was a good week with the family. We watched the Saturday morning session with friends and then went to Preston's house for the next session. His dad was actually there because there was a youth choir providing the music for that session. (he's in the Mormon Tabernacle Choir). So, that was fun! During the Priesthood session, I went to a movie with my mom, sister and grandma which was also fun. We also got smoothies afterward, which were yummy. Then, I met Preston back at his house and one of his friends came over and we all played games for a while. Sunday, we took our time in the morning and watched the session at Preston's house. Then we got to go to the Conference Center that night. We enjoyed a tasty dinner from my mom and then headed back to Provo. It was a good weekend. Now we get back to tests, class, homework, work, and internships. I'd rather just listen to conference every day :) Oh well, I do enjoy the Social Work program. It really is the best and it's too bad they ended the program. Well, you've probably all had similar experiences, but I wanted to share mine.


Taosting to Conference with our smoothies :)

We got someone to take a picture with Mumsy in it

I won the first game of pool which pretty much never happens, so I requested a picture to document my victory!

After General Conference

Close up outside the Conference Center

We asked a nice fellow to take our picture for us

Me talking to Mumsy in between pictures

This was actually the first picture that we took and we tried to block the sun with the camera ... bad idea :) We didn't really take shadows into account. But, it does make for a pretty funny picture.

BIRTHDAYS ... I love birthdays!

Well, I am now legal ... whatever that means. Now I can do a bunch of stuff that I will never do anyway and be legal about it. So, yay! But, as many of you probably know, I LOVE my birthday :) Don't ask me why ... it's just like my own personal holiday or something. Anyway, so it was a couple days ago and I wanted to share it with you! I made sure to document the whole day just for the blog :) Well, we got most of it anyway. I didn't get a picture of the yummy birthday breakfast that Preston made me, though. It was the Doxey style birthday breakfast of French Toast (sometimes pancakes or waffles) with warm cherry pie topping and ice cream! Mmmm .... What a great way to start the day! After that, we went to the BYU footaball game, which was a victory for us of course. They had to win because it was my birthday! Then, we went to the D.I. to drop off some of my old clothes and shoes so that I could buy more with my birthday money :) It was pretty exciting cuz I've never done that before! On our way home from DI, we decided to stop at a pet store and look at the puppies (which I also didn't get a picture of). They were SOOOOO cute! Sometime, hopefully soon, we'll be able to go to humane society and pick one to take home with us. When we did make it home, Preston sent me on a scavenger hunt for my gifts. Basically all his gifts were to pamper me. He gave me certificates for a manicure, pedicure, tanning and he got me some facial stuff. I've never gotten manicures or pedicures or anything like that, so it was kind of exciting! The tanning ... well, I might trade that in for a haircut or something cuz Preston told me I could :) He wasn't sure about that one, but he figured it fit with the other gifts, so he'd get it anyway. It was a good thought. He also got me a boardgame that I really wanted. It's called Thurn and Taxis. I highly recommend it to any of you who like to play games. My mom also had him pick up some games for me as her gift. So now I have 4 or 5 new games! yay! After opening all the gifts, we went to dinner at the Outback Steakhouse where we managed to get an appetizer, steak dinner, and dessert all for just $20! That's what sharing and getting a complimentary birthday dessert does for ya :) After that, he started driving somewhere and I had no idea where we were going until we got there. We went to Liz's place and she had made me an oatmeal cake cuz that's my favorite! Willie, one of my freshman friends came over and we all just talked for a couple hours. It was fun! And then we got to go home and play a game. I chose one of my new games to play because I usually beat Preston at it, but this time he won ... :( So sad. But I'm over it. Well, I hope you enjoy the pictures! It was a great birthday!

Getting excited for my birthday the day before

Going to dinner with the fam to celebrate!

Being excited to be at the game

Go Cougars! Too bad we didn't get the scoreboard in here ;)

Angie Sandwich

Me and the boys ...

Dan and Preston being silly.

Me, Preston, Dan, Katy, Travis and some other random people

The first gift in the scavenger hunt!

Opening the card (which was from Preston's mom).

I was stumped with the next clue.

(you can see the birthday money from mom!)

Finally, I figured it out and got the next clue from the piano

I got the next card there (from grandma Cottrell)

And the next clue ... in the ping pong table.

Sitting on Liz's floor eating our cake Japanese style :)

Mmmm ... oatmeal cake! Thanks Liz!

Liz and Wille showing off their personalities :)

Group picture!

As you can see, we had a lot of fun! Preston is just way to good to me! And that's how it should be :)

Let The Games Begin

The football season has begun!! These are from our first game. The coolest picture is the one with Cosmo! Especially because just before that, he had pointed at Preston's shirt from the field and gave a thumbs up! Anyway, yay for football and go Cougs!

Yay for Cosmo

Travis and Katy

Haha, Rob came with us to the game even though he goes to the U and is definitely a U fan. But, notice that he's wearing blue! :)

First Anniversary!!

We made it a whole year!! YAY :) Unfortunately, on our actual Anniversary, we didn't have much time to do something super exciting, but I took Preston on a scavenger hunt for a few gifts: a swimsuit (one he had lost on one of our trips), a book of our life together, and a DVD of all the things we've done in the last year. And of course, I was waiting at the end of the scavenger hunt in my wedding dress for good time's sake :) After that we just went to the Olive Garden and saw Iron Man at the dollar theater. It was funny because my grandparents were actually at the same movie, but we didn't see them until after. Then we stopped for frosties on the way home cuz ice cream is the best way to end a good date! When we got home, Preston had an invitation waiting for me on our stairs for a formal dinner on friday. Well, it actually said the 27th which was wednesday ... but, that got cleared up :) So, on Friday we got all dressed up and went to a candlelit dinner at his parents house where his mom served us. Unfortunately, we didn't get any pictures of the table or anything, but it was beautiful. After dinner, he informed me that he had a surprise, so when we got home, we got our wedding cake top and went out to the car where he told me that he was taking me to the Anniversary Inn! So, off we went. It was an awesome room!! You'll see the pictures, but it really was a fun room. I liked the shower curtain the best. It was on a pulley so it was like a sail when you opened it. So cool!! Anyway, it was a good year and a great celebration!

our Anniversary (August 25th). You can kind of see the book of our life together that was one of the gifts for Preston.

In the car on our way to our formal dinner


After dinner


The rose petals all over the floor

This is the view you get as you walk into the room.

The fake birds hanging in the room :)

The mop that they had in the room ... haha

Preston driving the ship

Peeking out of the shower curtain that was the coolest thing ever!

Pouring the drinks :) ... sparkling cider that is

Our flutes filled with kisses

Leaving the Anniversary Inn. Until next year ... maybe?